Ace Defectives
by ExtraSaber
Summary: Someone has stolen Yukari's expensive pudding, a crime she takes very personally. With her wannabe detective buddy Junpei at her side, the Ace Defectives are on the case, and every single member of SEES is a suspect. Who is the real culprit? -Completed-
1. The Crime

**Author's note:** I don't like referring to the Main Character by name, since he doesn't have one used in canon (unlike P2's Tatsuya and P4's Yu), but he'll be known as Minato Arisato here for convenience's sake.

Special thanks to RareKuma for his ideas and input. You're, like, totally da bomb.

I super appreciate any and all thoughts and/or criticism anyone might have. Please review, k?

* * *

Deep within Iwatodai Dorm, specifically inside the shared dorm refrigerator found inside its seldom-used kitchen, a lone pudding rested peacefully on top of a nondescript white plate. The plate's only defining feature was an inscription, seemingly left by a marker pen.

It read 'YUKARI'S. DO NOT EAT.'

A looming shadow lurked in the darkness, searching for a target. Searching for a victim.

Searching for a chance to strike.

The fridge door opened and the shadow reached for the plate that so majestically carried the frail, weakened pudding. Completely and mercilessly ignoring the message written, the shadow pierced the pudding's defences with a small, shining tea spoon.

With mechanical efficiency, the tea spoon cut down the pudding until there was nothing left of it.

The pudding was no more.

Gone.

As if it had never existed.

Realising what they had done, the shadow returned the plate to its original place in the fridge and made a hasty escape. They looked around for any witnesses.

No one was there.

The perfect crime.

The only evidence was slowly digesting, and soon it would vanish from this world.

The shadow slowly shuffled upstairs and retreated to the safety of their room, not seen by any.

_OR WERE THEY?_

* * *

**Ace Defectives  
Case of the Pudding**

**Part I – The Crime**

**Starring Yukari Takeba  
Junpei Iori  
Minato Arisato  
Akihiko Sanada  
Mitsuru Kirijo  
Fuuka Yamagishi  
Ken Amada  
with Koromaru  
and Aigis as 'Lovely Cyber-Detective Ai-Chan'**

**Written and Directed by ExtraSaber**

* * *

"Damn, that monk had some issues."

"You two have that in common, Junpei."

"I'll have you know I'm probably the most stable person here."

"Pfft, as if."

Yukari and Junpei were just returning home after having spent most of their Sunday wandering around Port Island. Their last stop had been the esteemed (?) Club Escapade. Their excursion today had been a strictly 'friends-only' deal, as the idea of Yukari and Junpei dating was equal parts scary and ridiculous.

Yukari, being more fashion conscious than most, had on a plaid miniskirt, black thigh-highs, and a particularly charming, frilly sleeveless top emblazoned with the cryptic sentence 'Love Nuke for Life and Eternity'. She had absolutely no idea what that meant, but the top was pink and decorated with pretty love hearts, so she didn't really care.

Junpei's get-up was less admirable, being but a simple dark-green down vest over a black sleeveless shirt and basic jeans, along with that cap he so loved. Functionality over style, as he'd always say.

Yukari walked into the lounge and smiled mischievously at Junpei.

"Anyway, I have a wonderful pudding waiting for me in the fridge, so I'll be off."

"Pudding, you say? Don't suppose you have some for me, do ya?"

"Yeah, as if I'd give YOU pudding."

"You're so greedy, Yuka-tan. Junpei sighed, "Guess that's why you got such fat thighs."

"What was that?" Yukari glared at Junpei and curled her hand into a fist.

"What was what? I didn't say anything."

A cold sweat ran down Junpei's face as Yukari sighed.

"Well, whatever." Yukari shrugged and walked off to the kitchen.

Junpei sat himself down on the lounge sofa and sighed. He began to read a nearby magazine in peace and quiet until silence was broken by two horrible sounds.

One of them was the sound of breaking glass. The other was Yukari's very loud screaming.

"Yukari! What happened?" Junpei had rushed into the kitchen, alarmed by the alarming combination of sounds.

Standing in front of the open fridge was a gaping Yukari, her face frozen in an expression of shock and anger. A few feet away from her was her personalised plate, now shattered to smithereens.

"My… pudding… no…" Yukari whimpered, her face white as a sheet.

"…your pudding tried to kill you?" Junpei said, a look of bewilderment on his face.

In that instant, the stage of denial ended and Yukari skipped straight to anger.

"**Who the hell ate my pudding?**"

* * *

"_In every generation there is a chosen one. He alone will stand against the aliens, the mad scientists, and the forces of darkness. He is Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!"_

Minato was secretly watching Phoenix Ranger on his room's modestly sized TV, clad in his usual lazy day ensemble of white boxers with pink polka dots and a white t-shirt emblazoned with four hearts, two of which were outlines rather than red, and the word 'EMPTY'. Yukari had always been interested in knowing the origin of said t-shirt, a question Minato would tend to avoid.

Over the sounds of cheesy tokusatsu action, Minato could faintly hear some rather panicked screaming coming from downstairs. He paid it no mind, as it was most likely just another of Yukari's mood swings.

Back at the kitchen, things weren't going very well. Yukari was now dead silent, something that terrified Junpei more than anything.

"Listen, Yuka-tan. We'll find the one who did this. I swear, we will not let him get away with this." He said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Yukari turned to face him, still furious.

"You ate it, didn't you?"

"I… what?"

"You ate my pudding, _Stupei_! Admit it! Admit it and buy me five new ones! This pudding was expensive, y'know! A real, genuine L_'excrétion Affreux_ pudding! Five!"

"Why _five_? And no way, I did _not_ eat your pudding!"

Yukari was now breathing heavily. Junpei didn't think he had ever seen her that mad before, and he was most certainly one to know the wrath of The Terrible Yuka-tan.

"Yuka-tan, we were together all day. That pudding was there before we left! I couldn't have eaten it without being telekinetic, y'know."

"Yeah… you're right. Sorry, Junpei." Yukari was now calming down once more. Her mood was one of the world's most volatile factors. "Now let's find whoever did this."

Yukari brushed off Junpei's hand and proceeded to storm out of the kitchen.

"…say what, now?" Junpei blurted out.

Yukari turned around once more. Her eyes were shining with the fire of a thousand suns.

"Did I stutter? We're going to apprehend the culprit, and we're doing it **now**." With all the pleasantness of a sledgehammer to the face, Yukari walked off in search of the truth.

"H-hey, wait up!" Junpei called out, running after the girl on a mission.

* * *

Yukari headed upstairs to the second floor, her footsteps heavy and full of rage.

"What are we doing, Yuka-tan?"

"Isn't it obvious? We'll be doing some detective work, questioning everyone here. It had to have been someone living in the dorm, right? I doubt someone would break in and take only my pudding." Yukari explained, her logic super flawless like always.

"I guess, but shouldn't we begin with, like, scanning the crime scene for clues? That's always how they do it on _CSI_."

"Not a chance! This way is a lot faster, see."

Determined to uncover the truth, Yukari walked up to the end of the second floor's hall. With no regard to the resident's privacy, she slammed it open and pointed dramatically at said resident.

"Minato-kun, you ate my pudding!"

Minato, in a panic, scrambled for the remote and turned off the TV. No one could know about his guiltiest of pleasures.

"Y-Yukari! Junpei! You guys are… here!" Minato said as he sat up, sweating.

"You don't have to hide it, Minato-kun. I already know you watch that show." Yukari shrugged. "I've seen how your face lights up at the sight of merchandise when we walk around town. It's pretty cute, really…"

Yukari blushed, her thought train having passed its stop a long time ago. Junpei cleared his throat. It was the Ace Detective's turn to shine.

"Hey, Minato. You eat a lot of food, right?" He asked as he sat himself down on Minato's bed.

Minato slowly put down the rather large sandwich he had been munching on up to this point and placed it on his desk.

"No, not really. Why do you ask?"

Approximately twenty seconds of complete silence followed until it was broken by Junpei's lovely voice.

"So, someone ate Yuka-tan's pudding, and…"

"…you think I did it? Why would I do it?" Minato said, sincerity oozing from every orifice. "Hell, I haven't even left the room all day!"

"It is true. Minato-san has been stationed inside his living quarters since he woke up today at noon."

Everyone turned their heads to see Aigis the Stalkerbot standing in the doorway. Their eyes were wide and full of questions.

"You were spying on me _again_?" Minato sighed.

"I believe the appropriate term here would be 'keeping tabs on'. However, my answer is negative. I have been on stand-by for the day, monitoring the actions of the dormitory's residents."

Yukari snapped her fingers, startling Junpei.

"That's it! If you know what everyone has been doing, you could tell us who stole my pudding!"

"I am sorry; I am not at liberty to divulge information of that calibre."

"…what did she just say?" Junpei asked, scratching his head.

"I think she's saying that she doesn't know. Right, Aigis?" Minato said as he looked over at the robot. She looked as she always did, red ribbon and all. Aigis didn't respond, her face completely static.

"Well, that sucks." Yukari groaned. However, a small smile returned to her face shortly after. "Anyway, I'm glad you didn't eat my pudding, Minato-kun. I feel like I can trust you with anything."

"She says that, but she was dead-set on accusing me a moment ago…" Minato says under his breath, quiet enough for Yukari to not hear him.

"Hey, Ai-chan. You wanna help with the investigation? We could use your roboty charms on this case." Junpei stood up and winked at Aigis.

"You want me to help with your questioning of the dorm's residents, correct?" Aigis said, not breaking her eye contact with Minato, who was growing more uncomfortable by the second.

Yukari shrugged and started walking out of Minato's room. "If you want to, I guess. Whatever."

Aigis finally blinked and nodded her head.

"Understood. I shall assist Yukari-san and Junpei-san with their investigation." Aigis confirmed the situation and followed Yukari out, leaving only Junpei and Minato.

"Maybe I could—" Minato started, but was quickly interrupted by Junpei.

"B-but I'm the leader here. I never get to be leader…" Junpei said, his voice growing a tad shaky.

Minato had an amused grin on his face. "Fair enough. I hope you catch the pudding fiend soon."

* * *

"So, where to next?" Junpei said as the three walked aimlessly around the dorm.

"I guess we just randomly question everyone until we get them to 'fess up. Any objections?" Yukari said, having calmed down a lot.

"I guess that works. D'you know if everyone's home, Ai-chan?"

Aigis took a short while to look into her data bank, and eventually replied.

"I can confirm that everyone is present, save for Mitsuru-senpai. She has stepped out on a personal errand."

"I guess it's probably student council or Kirijo Group stuff. Nothing we have to worry about." Yukari shrugged once more, and suggested their next course of action. They'd check up on the least likely suspects first, starting with one Fuuka Yamagishi.

"Hey, Fuuka. You in there?" Yukari said, knocking on Fuuka's door.

"Y-Yukari-chan? Is something wrong?" A timid voice sounded behind the door. She seemed a bit startled.

"We just wanna ask you something, if that's cool." Junpei said in the most non-threatening voice he could muster.

"_Junpei-san, too_? I-I'd prefer it if… no one entered…" Fuuka's voice now sounded panicked, as if she was hiding a dead body in her room. It just made her seem more suspicious, in fact.

"Dammit, I can't open the door. She locked it." Yukari said, her frantic violation of the doorknob growing more intense with every passing moment. Aigis decided to step in to preserve Yukari's sanity.

"Stand back, Yukari-san. I shall take care of this door." Aigis said in confidence.

"What, are you going to pick her lock? Cool!" Junpei said as Yukari stepped away from the door, a sour expression on her face.

"Initiating battle mode. Disabling inherent limiters. Locking on… firing."

One explosion later, there was no door standing between the three detectives and suspect number two anymore. A pile of ashes and burnt wood was all that remained of the once majestic entrance to Casa de Fuuka.

Sitting in front of a very expensive-looking desktop computer was an extremely startled Fuuka, who obviously didn't take her of her looks. Her hair was messy, she had thick-rimmed glasses on, and all she was wearing were red jogging trousers and a BlazBlue t-shirt.

She was completely speechless for several reasons, the most pressing of which were the destruction of her door, and the fact that three of her friends had seen her unattractive 'days off' visage. The three stepped inside, everyone still dead silent. Junpei opened his mouth and prepared to speak, something Fuuka very much dreaded.

"Oh, you're into BlazBlue, Fuuka? That's the pre-order t-shirt for the console version, isn't it?"

Everyone stared at Junpei. Yukari's stare, in particular, was one of annoyance and contempt.

Fuuka snapped out of her funk long enough to form a coherent reply to Junpei.

"Er, y-yes. Well, no. I, uh, I only play it a little bit in my spare time…" Fuuka said as she removed her glasses. "Why did you blow up my door…?"

"You weren't opening it for us, so we had to use force. Mitsuru-senpai is richer than God so replacing it'll be done like that, anyway." Yukari shrugged yet again, clearly not interested in Fuuka's plight. "Anyway, you ate my pudding, didn't you?"

Junpei sighed. "Is every interrogation going to start like that?"

Fuuka's eyes appeared to be spinning. The current onslaught of information made absolutely no earthly sense to her mostly human brain.

"Pudding? What pudding? What's going on…?"

Aigis looked intently at Fuuka, then at Yukari.

"She is telling the truth. She was not aware of your pudding's existence until this point in time." Aigis stated, clearing Fuuka of all suspicions.

"Oh. Well, that's cool, I guess. Let's go, Junpei." Yukari said as she got ready to depart. However, Junpei had just found his soulmate.

"Who do you play? I mostly use Jin, myself." Junpei's voice was filled with childlike glee and excitement.

"I guess I use Hakumen sometimes…" Fuuka smiled weakly, still rather shocked at the implausible sequence of events she had been in the middle of.

"Hakumen, huh? How very pro of you. Hey, is that Magical Witch Moerin you have as your wallpaper?"

No one may have cared, but Junpei established the Fuuka Yamagishi Social Link of the Priestess Arcana that day.

"Can we just go already? Quit your yapping, Stupei!" Yukari quite clearly ran out of patience a while ago.

Aigis forcibly pulled Junpei out of the room, leaving Fuuka alone. She didn't know what was going on, but she did know that she would never forget this day.

* * *

**End of Part I**


	2. Speculation

Thanks for the reviews and stuff. Good to know I'm doing _something_ right, heh. Please, do enjoy chapter 2. The story is kicking into gear~

* * *

_Previously on Ace Defectives…_

"_**Who the hell ate my pudding?**__"_

"_How very pro of you."_

"_No, not really."_

"_Quit your yapping, Stupei."_

"_So, someone ate Yuka-tan's pudding, and…"_

"_Locking on. Firing."_

_Explosion!_

And now, the thrilling mystery continues.

* * *

"Okay, so, Minato-kun seems clean, as does Fuuka…" Yukari was taking notes, truly playing the part of the master detective.

"I dunno, Yuka-tan. All they really had vouching for them was Aigis." Junpei pointed at the robot, whose face was a question mark. Not literally, though. That would be silly.

"Hm, now that you mention it…" An intense expression crossed Yukari's face. "Fuuka could probably program Aigis to tell us she's innocent, since she's a techy-whatever genius like that."

Junpei nodded. "And she'd prolly jump off a building for Minato, so he's got some serious sway over her."

"I can confirm that no tampering with my systems has been made. In addition, Fuuka-san does not possess the technology required to override my systems and protocols." After that statement by the dorm's favourite robot, a period of silence followed.

"…d'you have any idea what she just said?" Junpei whispered to Yukari.

* * *

**Ace Defectives  
Case of the Pudding**

**Part II – Speculation**

**Starring Yukari "The Terrible" Takeba  
Junpei Iori, Ace Detective  
Minato "Phoenix Blue" Arisato  
Akihiko Sanada, Pudding Vanguard  
Mitsuru "The Swagalicious" Kirijo  
Fuuka "hakuchix2k99" Yamagishi  
Ken "Just Ken" Amada  
with Koromaru "Koro-chan"  
and Stalkerbot Aigis as 'Lovely Cyber-Detective Ai-chan'**

**Written and Directed by ExtraSaber**

* * *

"We're on a roll here, so we're gonna keep going until we got everyone, alright?" Yukari said, pointing to a random line in her notebook. On further inspection, the line she was pointing to was the middle of a sappy poem she wrote about Minato's hair. Junpei decided not to question that, since it would only invite more tiring trouble.

"Uh… sure. Who's next, Yuka-tan?" Junpei said as the group descended down the stairs, back into the lounge.

"Ken-kun is right there, soooooo…"

Ken sat on the lounge sofa, reading manga. Specifically, volume 21 of _Maid Royale_. It wasn't something he'd usually read, but he had just found it on the table. The book actually belonged to Junpei, shockingly enough.

Yukari approached Ken, her footsteps light and quiet.

"Ken-kun, you ate my pudding!" She screamed at Ken, startling the poor child.

The only responses Ken had were the various variations of the words "what", "huh" and "why".

"Yuka-tan, seriously…" Junpei groaned and sat down next to Ken. "Though he _is_ totally the most suspicious. Don't kids do some stupid shit for sugar?"

"I do _not_ do stupid shit for sugar! I didn't eat your pudding, Yukari-san, really!"

"Ken-kun, I thought I told you not to swear!"

"But Junpei-san was…!"

"Not a word, mister!"

"Yuka-tan, don't be a bitch!"

"Hostility levels rising. Lethal force will be issued if matter is not resolved in ten seconds."

The room suddenly went silent as everyone stared at Aigis.

"…that was a humorous joke. Regardless, I do believe tensions are rising a bit high."

Everyone took a while to calm down, after which the interrogation of a small child by a detective movie otaku and a scary-ass mood swinger resumed as planned.

"Like I said, I didn't eat that pudding. It was there when I last checked the fridge, but…" Ken started, but was quickly interrupted by Yukari.

"What time was that?" She inquired.

"Um, I believe it was around the early afternoon or something."

"So, I guess that clears Minato. Aigis said he slept until noon, didn't she?" Junpei had taken the notebook from Yukari when she wasn't looking and struggled not to laugh at some of the stuff she had written down. Regardless, he had taken over note-taking duties.

Aigis nodded. "Indeed. Minato-san awoke from his slumber at approximately 12:42pm. He did not bother to get dressed, instead opting to view the _Phoenix Ragner Featherman R_ marathon showing on TV, evidently for build-up to the upcoming feature film. He had saved rations for this event in the mini-fridge in the room, and has not left the room since. His temperature is at 37.1°C—"

"That's… enough, Aigis." Yukari said, her glare towards Aigis being one filled with hostility.

"Well, I think it's pretty safe to say that Ken is innocent, huh?" Junpei said, stretching his arms.

"I guess. Sorry for bothering you, Ken-kun." Yukari smiled at Ken, who was at the height of his confusion. Just what had he gotten himself into by moving into this dorm? Truly, the wrath of Yukari was more terrifying than any Shadow.

Junpei turned around to leave when he saw Koromaru sitting in front of the TV.

"Maybe the dog did it." He said, a dark expression on his face.

"…what?" Yukari said in disbelief.

"I mean, think about it. He's super smart, fights Shadows using a _knife in his mouth_, I don't think opening a fridge door and swiping some pudding would be beyond his skills, y'know."

Yukari stared at the white Shiba Inu. His red eyes were overflowing with… doglike qualities.

"Well, since you put it that way, I guess it could happen." Yukari said, actually keeping her calm for once. She knelt down to face the doggy. "Did you eat my pudding, Koro-chan?"

"Arf." Koromaru barked.

"…" Yukari's reaction was an ellipses.

"…so, was that a confession, or…?" Junpei scratched his head and looked over at Aigis. "Hey, Ai-chan. You speak dog, right?"

"If you are referring to the ability to comprehend the thoughts and actions of animals, then I am able to decipher their sounds, mannerisms, and brain waves and convey them into language—"

"By which you mean you speak dog."

"…technically speaking, it is not entirely like that. One might say that, as opposed to 'speaking dog', I am converting the signals one emits—"

"You speak dog, Aigis."

Aigis stared at Junpei. No one could tell for sure, but there was a look of dejection in her eyes.

"Yes, Junpei-san. I speak dog."

Aigis joined Yukari on the floor, looking intensely into Koromaru's eyes.

"Koromaru-san, were you the one who unlawfully stole and devoured Yukari-san's dessert?"

Koromaru barked once more. Aigis paused, remaining stoic and expressionless as Koromaru nudged her hand with his nose.

"Analysis complete. Koromaru says that he is not the one who participated in the crime, and is deeply offended by the utter lack of humanity the culprit exhibited."

Yukari and Junpei looked away from Aigis and at Koromaru, who was panting as dogs do.

"Uh… huh. Interesting…?" Yukari said, smiling awkwardly.

"In addition, Koromaru would like to join us on our investigation. He believes that he could help us sniff down clues." Aigis said, a slight smile forming on her lips.

"Cool! Our own detective doggy! We're just like a real team of detectives now, huh?" Junpei could hardly contain his excitement, much to Yukari's annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah. Koro-chan can play, too. Let's head over to the scene of the crime, yes?" Yukari said, standing up. She didn't expect much of Koromaru, as evident by her bored expression.

* * *

The scene of the crime, formerly known as the Iwatodai Dorm's kitchen. Yukari had set up yellow 'POLICE LINE, DO NOT CROSS' tape across the doors and windows, as well as chalk outlines where her plate's remains used to be. She had scooped them up and sealed the shards in a plastic bag just before they hit up Ken, while Junpei was at the toilet.

Yukari had an uneasy expression on her face as they stepped over the tape and into the kitchen. "It's never easy for a detective to return to a particularly vicious crime scene."

Junpei grinned. "Wow, you're really getting into this, Yuka-tan."

"Quiet. Detective Dog Koromaru, you're up." Yukari said as she unloaded the plate's shards from the bag and back into the floor.

Koromaru sniffed the remains intently, which would hopefully lead them to the true culprit.

A low whine emitted from the dog indicated that, alas, this lead would be another dead end.

"What's wrong, Koro-chan? You're not picking up any scent?" Junpei said, scratching his goatee. Aigis looked over at Koromaru's crimson eyes in an attempt to understand his plight.

"Koromaru-san is unable to pick up a particularly distinctive scent, as the plate has been heavily perfumed." Aigis said, a tone of disappointment in her voice. Koromaru nodded his head. It was a rather peculiar visage.

"Perfume, huh? Seems like our perp's a clever one. Guess we need to find other leads." Junpei shrugged. "Oh, well. We're not dead yet."

"Thanks anyway, Koro-chan." Yukari petted Koromaru and walked off.

"Incidentally, the scent the plate gives off is composed of the perfumes _Houbigant_ _Quelques Fleurs_ and _Eau d'Hadri_—"

Aigis was cut off once more by Junpei. "I don't really think that matters, Ai-chan. C'mon, let's investigate some more."

Aigis sighed. She may be a robot, but even she could feel dejected every now and then.

"I thank you for your assistance, Koromaru-san." A smile returned to Aigis's face as she stroked Koromaru's head. There was something inherently soothing about spending time with a fluffy animal, as Aigis had now realised.

* * *

At that very moment, one perpetually bandaged Akihiko Sanada strolled down the stairs and headed towards the dorm entrance. He was clearly looking to exercise, as evident by his getup. A form-fitting white t-shirt with blue lines defining his upper body muscles even further, along with similarly coloured shorts that ended a good bit above his knees. On his feet were some rather expensive-looking running shoes, a look completed by the bright red drinking bottle he was holding. It was a pretty usual 'days off' look for Akihiko, one the dorm's residents had gotten used to. 'If you got time, use it to exercise', as he'd often say.

Of course, he was the only one to ever take his own advice.

"Hey, Senpai!" Yukari called out to Akihiko, stopping him in his tracks.

"Hm?" Akihiko turned around to face the group, which now lacked Koromaru. "Did you want something, Takeba?"

_Saying _that_, dressed like _that_… goodness._ Junpei thought to himself. He was staring intently at Akihiko, a hint of jealousy in said stare, something Akihiko was trying his best to ignore.

Yukari said her usual line. "Did you eat my pudding, Senpai?" She had a coolness in her voice that hadn't surfaced until now. She was getting used to playing the detective role, deny it she may.

"Pudding?" Akihiko said, crossing his arms. A questioned look crossed his face. "No, I haven't eaten any pudding as of late. They mess up my diet, y'know?"

As those words escaped Akihiko's lips, Aigis proceeded to violate his personal space. Their faces were mere millimetres apart, and she stared into his hazel eyes.

A cold sweat ran down Akihiko's forehead as Aigis remained static, not breaking eye contact.

"U-um…" Akihiko nervously muttered, Yukari and Junpei being too confused to speak. With that, Aigis pulled away and spoke.

"I detect no traces of pudding in Akihiko-senpai's system. He is, as one might say, clean." She stated, retreating back to her spot behind the other two.

"Okayyyy…" Yukari said, glancing at Aigis. She then turned to face her senpai once more, an apologetic look on her face. "Well, I guess that's that, huh. Sorry to keep you, Senpai."

"It's fine." Akihiko smiled weakly. However, he seemed… different. When he was getting ready to work out, he seemed full of spirit. His eyes had now lost all of their fire.

"I haven't had a pudding in years, to be honest." He said, his voice beginning to grow shaky. "It's all for the physique, see. I don't allow myself to eat sweet, fatty desserts. They're not good for me, so I don't…" Akihiko's smile remained constant, but his eyes told a different story.

"Oh, god. I didn't know…" Yukari covered her mouth. What had she done? "I'm so sorry, Senpai. I'll… never doubt you again."

Akihiko closed his eyes and uncrossed his arms. "Thanks, Takeba. I'll… be going now."

And with that, Akihiko disappeared through the door, his walk one of dejection and disconsolateness.

"Why'd you just let him go like that, Yuka-tan? We could have questioned him further, y'know." Junpei disrupted the following silence with his logic. Yukari turned to face him, her eyes stern and serious.

"That pain in his eyes was real." She said, a melancholic tone in her voice. "Those eyes were the eyes of one without any pudding in their life." She sighed.

"I pray for Akihiko-senpai's soul. May he find guidance and peace."

Yukari seemed to have reached enlightenment, but Junpei and Aigis were still left in the dark. This strange moment was interrupted by an impromptu arrival from the as-to-now missing dorm mate.

* * *

"Hm? What are you all doing here?" An elegant-sounding voice resounded from the dorm entrance. "I passed by Akihiko. I don't think I've ever seen him look so sad."

"Ah. Good evening, Mitsuru-senpai." Aigis greeted Mitsuru, who had just stepped inside. Her long, red hair complimented her outfit, a French-styled black button jacket with fur trims and form-fitting pants of a matching colour with a very pricey-looking belt. Her laced high-heeled boots clacked against the floor as she walked up to the dorm sign-in sheet. Was she saving her game?

"Good evening, Aigis. Takeba and Iori, too." Mitsuru smiled at the three, radiating elegance and grace. "Were you heading out?"

"No, actually, we just got back a bit ago." Yukari said, nervously twirling her hair. "Anyway, I have a question to ask of you."

"Oh, please. Do ask. I'm just making a quick stop, as I am very busy, but I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability."

The usual sternness returned to Yukari's face as she began the interrogation. "Did you eat my pudding, Mitsuru-senpai?"

"Your… pudding, Takeba?" Mitsuru said after pausing for a few seconds. The questioning was then interrupted by Mitsuru's phone ringing.

_Quench my thirst with BLOOD as the bodies rain DAAAAAUUUUUWWWW—_

"Mitsuru here. What is it?" Everyone knew better than to question Mitsuru's ringtone, even though they really wanted to.

"I see. Very well, then." Mitsuru hung up her phone and faced the group once more. "I'm very sorry, but something has come up. I'll have to speak with you later."

"Oh. A-alright." Yukari said as Mitsuru left through the main doors. They could faintly hear a car driving away.

"Damn, Mitsuru-senpai is a busy beaver like always, huh." Junpei said, crossing his arms. "It probably wasn't her, anyway."

"Yeah, you're right. Jeez, she's always like that. Anyway, that makes everyone, right?"

"Actually, there's one person left."

Yukari and Junpei turned to face Aigis, who hadn't moved since Mitsuru arrived.

Yukari and Junpei spoke in unison. "Aigis, did you—"

"No."

"Mmkay." Again in unison, Yukari and Junpei dropped their charges.

With everyone questioned, and everyone seemingly innocent, that ended that phase of the investigation.

"How about we go back to my room and piece together the, er, pieces? Someone's gotta be lying, since a pudding just doesn't disappear on its own." Junpei said, stretching his arms again.

Yukari nodded. "Yes, it is rather convenient how no one seems to be guilty."

"Heh, maybe you just ate it without noticing, Yuka-tan."

"Don't be stupid, Stupei." Yukari sighed. "I wouldn't have put the plate back into the fridge after having perfumed it silly. I'm not weird, unlike you."

"Heh-hey, I'm not weird!" Junpei grinned. "Anyway, let's go begin phase 2!"

"Sure, but we're doing that in _my_ room. I'm not going anywhere near your glorified garbage dump." Yukari snatched her notebook from Junpei and headed upstairs, signalling for Aigis to follow her.

* * *

In Yukari's room, the three had positioned themselves around a table. On the table's middle were two objects. One of them was a sheet of paper, the other was the broken plate.

"Okay, we're going to piece together the evidence now. Pay attention, because this part is the most important." Yukari said, pretending to adjust her nonexistent glasses.

"Admit it, you're loving this." Junpei's smile was getting wider by the second, much to Yukari's annoyance.

Yukari drew a large box on the paper sheet. Inside the box were nine circles, each one marked with the name of a dorm resident.

"Alright, for those who we know are innocent… There's me, obviously. Junpei was with me all day, so he couldn't have taken it. Aigis has no reason to take it, so we can strike her, too." Yukari crossed out the names as she said them.

"I think we can safely assume Minato and Akihiko-senpai are safe, too. Minato was… _busy_ all day, and Akihiko-senpai's diet doesn't allow for sweets." Junpei added, prompting Yukari to nod and strike out those two names.

"I can confirm that Koromaru-san did not come anywhere near the pudding, as he would not have received any benefit from ingesting the dessert." Aigis chimed in, prompting more nods.

"Plus, he's really super loyal. I don't think he'd do something like that." Yukari said, smiling slightly. She crossed out Koromaru, leaving three names.

"Ken-kun said he didn't do it, but I dunno. Kids can get really hopped up on sugar, y'know. They can't get enough of the stuff." Junpei's expression was a peculiar mix of seriousness and amusement.

"Mitsuru-senpai was out pretty much all day, wasn't she? How long was she gone, Aigis?" Yukari said, looking over at the serene android.

"She left around 11am, while Yukari-san and Junpei-san were gone." Aigis confirmed.

"It's too bad we weren't able to question her, but she seemed real busy," Said the cap-wearing wonder child. "Though I don't see Mitsuru-senpai as the type to sneak into puddings."

"What about Fuuka-san?" Aigis inquired, her big, blue eyes reflecting Yukari's.

"Fuuka… I don't think she did it, but…" Yukari crossed her arms. "It did kind of seem to me that she was trying to throw off suspicion by dressing like that, plus she was acting all flustered and nervous. A clear sign of guilt."

Junpei nodded. "Maybe. Anyway…"

Junpei took Yukari's pencil and crossed Mitsuru out, leaving question marks by Ken's and Fuuka's names.

"We can conclude that the culprit is either Fuuka-san or Ken. They were the only ones without solid alibis, as well as possible reasons for swiping the sweets. Fuuka isn't on a diet, as far as we know, and she _was_ acting pretty suspicious. Ken's a kid, and kids go apeshit over candy." Junpei noted down his words besides the box.

"What about the perfume? It seems like a pretty underhanded trick. They probably knew we'd fall back on Koro-chan sooner or later."

"Fuuka-san is pretty smart. She probably would have figured to throw us off the trail."

"And Ken-kun is really close to Koro-chan. He must know what throws him off and what doesn't."

"Ooh, maybe they conspired! A dark conspiracy welling up within our own dorm… scary, right?"

"I dunno, that doesn't really add up. Ken-kun and Fuuka aren't the types to conspire against one of us. We need to think this through a bit more."

"Yeeeaaaah, I guess you're right, Yuka-tan."

As Yukari and Junpei debated, Aigis sat there in silence. She had no input for them, remaining a spectator. She looked outside the window.

It would be nightfall soon. How long would this go on?

* * *

**End of Part II**


	3. Conclusion

First off, I'd like to thank all my reviewers for reviewing. You are wonderful and your support is similarly wonderful. This hasn't been a very long fanfic, but it's been a lot of fun writing it.

Second, I'd like to thank Rare Kuma especially for his continued assistance. Your stuff was way too good for me not to use. I'm looking forward to new developments in your stories, too.

Lastly, I ask you to please enjoy the spectacular finale of _Ace Defectives_, the greatest crackfic I have ever written. Believe me, that is no tall order. The culprit is revealed in this chapter. Did you guess correctly? Let us find out. This is by far the longest chapter, but I hope I kept it relatively non-boring. Here we go, the grand finale!

* * *

"_**Who the hell ate my pudding?**__"_

_Previously on Ace Defectives…_

"_Yuka-tan, don't be a bitch!"_

"_Oh, god… I didn't know."_

"_I see. Very well, then."_

"_Heh, maybe you just ate it without noticing, Yuka-tan."_

"_No."_

"_Ken-kun, you ate my pudding!"_

"_But Junpei-san was…!"_

And now, the heart-stopping detective thriller reaches its conclusion.

* * *

"Aw, damn. How long were we up?" Junpei awoke from a deep slumber, having fallen asleep at the table. Still groggy, the sunlight from the windows, hitting his face like a ton of bricks.

Yukari was still asleep, her face serene and peaceful. She definitely didn't look like the ravaging beast she had been just the day before. In the room's corner was Aigis on standby. Strewn across the room were instant noodle cups, snack wrappers, donut boxes, etc. They really had been at it for a while. Speculating, that is.

They had both changed from their street clothes before pulling the near-all nighter. Yukari had on a simple pink t-shirt with a flowery design and red sweatpants. Junpei, again, had on a less charming ensemble, being but a dark blue tank top and white shorts, the 'I don't care' look completed with plain black socks.

The lone sheet of paper they had used to discuss the suspects had now been joined by fifteen other sheets, all of which were filled with hastily scribbled word salads and vaguely offensive doodles.

Junpei stretched. His muscles were aching from the awkward way in which he slept. The next forty seconds of his life were spent yawning very loudly and obnoxiously. Not like it was disturbing anyone. After all, he was the only one awake.

"Good morning, Junpei-san. The time is currently 9:12am—"

"Ack!"

Startled by Aigis's unintentionally (?) stealthy greeting, Junpei shrieked loudly, falling behind himself and onto the table, strewing paper all across the room in addition to waking up Yukari.

"WHAT THE HELL GO AWAY SAUSAGE MAN—!"

Rudely awakened and now laying on the floor, Yukari was in the bad mood to end all bad moods. She growled at Junpei, who had made her messy room all the messier. In a way, they were lucky. Even though it was Monday, there was no school. A freak plumbing mishap had flooded the entire school, forcing it to close down for the day, leaving them free to wrap up the case that had plagued their night. Groggy, tired, and off their guards, Yukari and Junpei were not at all ready for what was to come.

They could both tell that they were in for a long, long day.

* * *

**Ace Defectives  
Case of the Pudding**

**Part III – Conclusion**

**Starring Yukari "Manic-Depressive" Takeba  
Junpei "God Damned Stupei" Iori  
Minato "Totally Metro" Arisato  
Akihiko "Gym Bunny" Sanada  
Mitsuru "Workaholic" Kirijo  
Koromaru "Dog"  
and Stalkerbot Aigis as 'Magical Cyber-Detective Ai-chan'  
featuring Fuuka "Suspect #1" Yamagishi  
and Ken "Suspect #2" Amada**

**Written and Directed by ExtraSaber**

* * *

"So. What we got?" Yukari said in-between yawns. They had a lot of paper and theories to go through before the eventual conclusion they had planned later that day. And what a conclusion it would be.

They were to round up all members of SEES into the Command Room, where they would reveal the truths of the case, the fruits of their labour, the results of their investigation, etc.

"Well." Junpei started, sorting through the papers. "You, me, Minato, Akihiko-senpai, Ai-chan, Koro-chan, and Mitsuru-senpai are all definitely innocent."

"So, that leaves Fuuka and Ken-kun as our most likely suspects, yeah?"

"That's right. We should talk about why we think they could have done it. I'll take Ken, you can do Fuuka-san."

"You always have such a way with words, Stupei." Yukari said, wiping the tired from her eyes. "I'mma head downstairs and get us some stuff to drink, k? Clean up your unholy mess while I'm gone."

With that, Yukari casually strolled downstairs and into the lounge. When she arrived at her destination, she could see Minato preparing to go outside. Equipped with a black band t-shirt and dark gray jeans, he looked just about ready to take on the world!

"Ah, Minato-kun…" Yukari blurted out, catching the aforementioned wonder child's attention. "You're going out?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. I'm not one to waste a day off school, so I figured I'd hang out with grade school girls and old people in bookstores." Minato said with a completely straight face.

"Er, right…" Yukari didn't really believe him, but he didn't seem to be lying. Perhaps some stalking was in order.

"Stalking?"

"Huh? Oh, er, I said that out loud? Um, it was a joke! Ha ha ha, funny joke…" Yukari smiled nervously, regaining her composure. "Anyway, make sure you're back by sunset. There's a meeting tonight with mandatory attendance."

"Uh… huh. Just call me or something. I'll be there. Later." Minato left Yukari with a smile and disappeared into the daylight.

Her mood elevated a bit, Yukari re-entered the crime scene to fetch some Dr. Salt cans from the fridge. However, the kitchen wasn't empty.

"Oh, Akihiko-senpai."

Akihiko was indeed there, clad in a red t-shirt and jeans, and he was feasting on what appeared to be… pudding.

"Hey, Takeba." Akihiko's face was beaming. "It's this new zero-fat pudding they got at the convenience store. It tastes kind of like cardboard, but it's better than no pudding at all."

"Really?" Yukari's interest was piqued. "I'll have to have Junpei treat me to one of those after we wrap up the case later today. We totally have it narrowed down between two suspects, and we're super close to having a breakthrough."

"That so? Good luck, Takeba." Akihiko swallowed another bite of the cardboard diet pudding. "You'll have to tell me who did it, alright?"

"Oh, I will. In fact, we'll be telling everyone tonight. You're free to show up at the Command Room later, right?"

* * *

Back at Yukari's room, Aigis and Junpei were hard at work cleaning up the mess.

"So, Ai-chan, who do you think did it?"

"I cannot say."

"You haven't picked your perp yet?"

"I cannot say."

"…have you even been paying attention?"

"I cannot say."

As Junpei's palm ran across his face, he said to himself, "I wonder if we're doing everything wrong. Prolly not, but…"

"I'm baaaack." Yukari entered the room, three cans of Dr. Salt in her arms. "Hey, you actually cleaned up? Who the hell are you and where's my Stupei?" Yukari smiled.

"Yuka-tan, what's got you in such a good mood?" Junpei grabbed a can and started gulping it down.

"We're so close. I can feel it. This case is as good as closed."

With that, the doubts slowly cleared from Junpei's mind. A smile returned to his face as the fire flared up again.

"Yeah. We're catching this guy, and we're catching him _good_."

Yukari and Junpei bumped their fists together, their resolve tougher than leather, harder than a diamond, and brighter than the sun itself.

Their Social Link had reached rank 9.

"Incidentally, Yukari-san and Junpei-san, I feel that I must tell you tha—"

"Not now, Aigis. Can't you see we're having a moment, here?" Yukari said, sighing.

* * *

"Let's review the evidence one last time. We need to be completely prepared for tonight." Junpei said, fire burning in his eyes. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I mean his eyes looked pretty damn sparkly.

Clearing out the floor, Yukari and Junpei carefully arranged all of their speculation papers into rough chronological order.

"We left the dorm at 9:32am, about 24 hours ago."

"We didn't return until 17:00pm, which was when I discovered that my pudding was gone."

"I can confirm that those present upon your arrival were all residents, bar Mitsuru-senpai."

"Yuka-tan and I then questioned Minato, but that was a no-go. Ai-chan joined up with us from there."

"After that we interrogated Fuuka and blew up her door, who was acting very suspicious and shocked. She looked like a total mess, as if she wanted us to think she's been cooped up in her room all day."

"We'll label Fuuka as 'Suspect #1', alright? Ken is 'Suspect #2'…"

"Right. He was the one we saw next, and he didn't seem to be doing anything. Maybe he was trying to act as inconspicuous as possible, since he knew we investigating."

"Amada-san did not exhibit any exterior peculiarities that came to my attention."

"Still, he's prolly just a great actor. No kid can resist the call of the pudding, y'know. Suspect #2 can't be much different. Also, he said that he had seen Yuka-tan's pudding in the fridge around the early afternoon."

Junpei played with his pencil. He felt like a real detective, so he couldn't help but grin.

"You look creepy, Junpei. Anyway, next up we saw Koro-chan. He was clean, and decided to help us."

"Mmhm. He wasn't any help, though. Someone, probably the perp, had covered up their scent with perfume."

"Specifically, the scent was composed of the French perfumes _Houbigant Quelques Fleurs_ and _Eau d'Hadrien_."

"I don't see how that makes a difference, but let's note it, anyway."

"Akihiko-senpai was clean, too. He seemed too depressed for someone who had stolen a pudding and seemingly gotten away with it."

"Mitsuru-senpai, who left earlier that morning at 11am, arrived shortly after Akihiko-senpai left, but she only stayed for like two minutes when she left again. By car, incidentally."

"We couldn't ask her about it, but I doubt it was her."

"Yeah, so do I. Aigis is… innocent, probably."

"So, what do we know, Yuka-tan?"

"Well… we know that… err…"

…

"We'll think of something tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah, that's right. No rush. It's probably either Fuuka-san or Ken. We got this. We got this, right, Yuka-tan?"

"We totally got this, Junpei. Now, as for our suspects' most likely motives…"

Yukari readied her notebook, signalling for Junpei to do the same. However, they had only the one notebook.

"Er, we'll pass it around. That works. Anyway, Fuuka. She doesn't seem to be on a diet, so she didn't have much to lose, or gain, from eating my pudding. Also, it seems that she kind of resents me, seeing as how I'm a lot hotter than she is."

Junpei and Aigis stared peculiarly at Yukari from that last remark.

"Well, it's true! Anyway, her behaviour. She seemed really flustered, most definitely because she knew we were onto her. Unfortunately for her, she's not a very good actress. Her stage outfit was totally way over the top, too."

"It could just be that she wanted to be comfy for her lazy day off, though." Junpei chimed in.

"Indeed, that does seem like the more likely possibility. She didn't appear to be hiding anything from you." Aigis backed up.

"Well, how about Ken-kun, Junpei? What do you have to say about him?"

"Um… Ken's a kid… and kids like sugar…"

Yukari sighed. "Is that _really_ your entire argument? I don't think you're thinking this through very carefully."

"Well, what else am I supposed to go on? I think Ken did it. The reasons why are really simple. It doesn't get any easier!"

"Y'know, I think you're just jealous of Ken-kun, _Stupei_. He's a little kid, but he's so much cuter _and_ more mature than you." Yukari wore an unpleasant grin.

"What was that? I'm totally more mature than that little brat!"

One volley of insults after another was fired between the two feuding detectives. Aigis could do nothing but watch. This was out of her hands.

A curious glimmer in her eye, she stood up and walked up to the window. A limousine was parked out front, and out of it stepped a familiar face. Specifically, Mitsuru Kirijo. However, she wasn't alone. Accompanied by several men clad in black suits, she entered the dorm.

Aigis nodded to herself. "Verily."

* * *

It was now sunset. The neatly organized papers had scattered all around the room, and the two master detectives were panting heavily, worn out from all that wonderful arguing they did.

"So… have we… reached our… conclusion…?" Yukari said between gasps for breath.

"I think so… I think we nailed it…" Junpei said, similarly worn out.

"Then it is time. Should I call everyone up to the Command Room?" Aigis asked the duo, unfazed as ever.

"Yeah, you go do that." Yukari said, smiling. "Junpei, we need to change our clothes. Have to make a big impression, after all."

"You got it, Yuka-tan." Junpei gave her a thumbs up.

…

"Get out of my damn room already!"

With that, Junpei was kicked out of Yukari's room. It was time to prepare body and soul for the big, explosive climax.

* * *

Gathered up on the top floor, the remainder of SEES was. Everyone was present and accounted for at the Command Room, ready to get their minds blown by the Ace Detectives.

"Er, what's going on here? I got the message from Aigis; she said it was important…" Mitsuru whispered to Minato.

"Yukari and Junpei are gonna reveal who stole Yukari's pudding yesterday." Minato whispered back.

"Takeba's pudding…?" Mitsuru muttered to herself. A sense of restlessness lingered in the air.

Mostly because everyone just wanted to get out and back to their own lives. Unfortunately, there would be no such luck.

The entrance to the Command Room was suddenly blown up, startling the hell out of everyone inside. Afterwards, additional explosions and fireworks of all colours went off, culminating in multi-coloured smoke and raining confetti. Out of the smoke stepped two figures.

On the left, there was Junpei Iori, clad in a sharp tuxedo and a fancy top hat. He had on a monocle and carried a plastic pistol, looking very pleased with himself. He winked at his audience, an act mostly ignored or giggled at.

On his right side was Yukari Takeba, a flattering red dress draping her figure. Glittering fake jewels gave the (budget-priced, second-hand) dress an elegant, if somewhat pathetic, air. Said air was reinforced by her footwear, her basic leather loafers. Junpei had gotten fed up with waiting for her to get dressed, so she had to rush some aspects of her outfit.

Tailing them was their technical expert for the evening, Aigis. Her fireworks display had been a last-minute idea of Junpei's. Yukari's reaction to said idea was something among the lines of "Sure, whatever."

"The Ace Detectives are here—" Junpei started…

"—and they're about to blow your collective minds…?" Yukari finished, her voice awkward and stilted. Yukari left the scriptwriting to Junpei, a decision she deeply regretted.

A silence that seemed to last weeks followed.

"I do hope you realise you just violated our fire code to an extreme degree." Mitsuru said, crossing her arms.

"That's not important, though. What _is_ important is that we're about to blow a criminal's cover! Isn't that right, Yuka-tan?" Junpei called out and winked at Yukari.

"…screw your stupid script, Stupei. I am _not_ saying that embarrassing crap." Yukari let go of Junpei's hand and sighed. "Alright, one of you stole and ate my pudding, and I know who did it."

"_We_ know who did it! We know all, we see all, we _are_ a—"

"Junpei, seriously. Stop."

"If you know then just tell us already." Minato said, groaning. Koromaru barked, agreeing with Minato.

"Fine, fine, if you really want to know…" Junpei shrugged and took a deep breath.

"One of you is guilty. One of you stole my pudding. But who? Who?" Yukari said, pointing towards the crowd. "It could be any one of you."

Junpei assumed a dramatic pose. "The culprit must have had a pretty serious grudge against Yuka-tan, to so mercilessly take away her dessert."

Yukari flipped her hair and put her hands on her hips. "Indeed, this person may even want me dead. Who could be so _cruel_? I know. Junpei knows. Aigis _probably_ knows."

In their mind, the Command Room had transformed into a grand dining hall. They were the master detectives about to reveal the truth behind a terrible murder in front of a room full of noblemen.

Their expert deductions flew across the room in form of red letters. Yukari summoned a grand staff out of a swarm of beautiful, golden butterflies. (It was actually a broom.)

Junpei threw his jacket off in his best male stripper impersonation. "The culprit snuck down to the crime scene –the kitchen—at exactly 13:33pm!"

"Indeed. They then devoured my precious pudding with nary a shred of decency." Yukari swung her staff around dramatically, laughing softly.

The other people in the room, who could just as well not be there, could do nothing but watch. They were completely dumbstruck.

Junpei spun around, undoing his bow tie. Said bow tie then ended up flying into Akihiko's face, who recoiled in horror.

"They then doused the plate with a bunch of laundry detergent and crap, blew-dried it, and placed it back into the refrigerator. The perfect crime! Or was it?" Junpei unbuttoned his vest and threw it into the air. Yukari then accidentally hit him in the head with her broom.

"Ow—! Yuka-tan!" Junpei removed his top hat and held his head in pain.

"Oops! Sorry, Junpei." Yukari put the broom away, in case someone else got hurt. The illusion broken, she looked across the group amassed before them.

Minato and Fuuka were struggling to contain their laughter, Mitsuru was covering her face with her hands, Ken was giggling wildly, Akihiko was still intently watching, Koromaru was licking his own privates, and Aigis was applauding heavily.

"This is what one calls a stand-up comedy routine, is it not? I find it greatly amusing." Aigis said, breaking the awkward silence that had formed.

"Er, y-yes." Yukari smiled awkwardly. One could tell by her face that she was very close to losing her sanity. "Um, let's skip ahead, shall we?"

Junpei, halfway through unbuttoning his undershirt, stopped in his tracks. "Huh? Oh, alright."

_Was he actually planning to bare it all?_ Those thoughts ran through the minds of everyone in the room, Yukari included.

"It's time to announce the culprit. We know who did it, and the one who did it was…" Junpei started.

"The one who did it waaaaaas…" Yukari added to the buildup.

This was it.

The moment of truth.

The two pointed dramatically towards the group and shouted their conclusion simultaneously.

"Fuuka Yamagishi!" "Ken Amada!"

…

"Wait, huh?" Yukari and Junpei said in unison.

* * *

…

At that point, Minato exploded into a fit of laughter that would make a hyena blush.

"Oh, Jesus. _Ace Detectives_? Your conclusions didn't even match up! You're Ace _Defectives_" Minato howled between laughs. The rest of the group was either laughing or smiling very awkwardly.

"Er, F-Fuuka! You're the culprit… right?" Yukari said, her composure gradually dissolving.

Fuuka, back to her usual homely self, smiled weakly. "Sorry, Yukari-chan, but I really didn't eat your pudding. I was in my room on message boards all day."

"But then why were you so startled and nervous when we came in?" Yukari was putting the heat on Fuuka. She would get her confession, no matter what it took.

"Erm, you _did_ kind of blow up my door and see me looking all… unkept. I didn't know what was going on and it kind of freaked me out a bit…"

"So… you're really innocent?" Yukari said, a puzzled look on her face.

"Indeed. Fuuka-san has nothing to answer to." Aigis stated.

Yukari's face grew redder and redder by the second. She slowly shuffled over to the big couch, currently housing Minato, Mitsuru and Akihiko, and sat herself down next to Minato.

"S-so, Junpei! You tell us how it is. Why is Ken guilty?" Yukari tried to keep herself from crying. The embarrassment was almost too much for her to handle.

Junpei finished buttoning down his shirt. Why leave a job half-finished? His unmagnificent non-abs were now on full display, prompting an agonized groan from Yukari.

"Fine, I'll reveal my expert deductions." Junpei said. His voice was full of confidence, but the cold sweat running down his face told a different story.

Their little game of detective was falling apart before everyone's eyes.

"Y'see, little Ken was all hopped up on sugar, and he just needed more. _More_! Therefore, he stole Yukari's pudding."

Junpei slowly took off his shirt, and crossed his arms. He wondered if he needed to get completely naked in order to distract the crowd from his failing logic.

"…that's it? _That's_ your entire reasoning?" Akihiko said, his palm getting a pleasant introduction to his finely crafted face.

"Um, Junpei-san, I don't even like pudding. It's unhealthy and too sweet for me." Ken said, trying his best to keep a straight face.

"H-huh? Really? That's… er…" Junpei was about to say something, but he stumbled over his own words.

Junpei started undoing his belt buckle, an act everyone present objected to.

"Well, er, I dunno!" Junpei shrugged dramatically and retreated to the smaller couch in which Fuuka was sitting. "I got nothing, okay?"

Minato, having mostly gotten over his laughing fit, decided to stand up.

"Alright, _that_ went nowhere." He said, sighing. "However, this still kind of bugs me. If Ken didn't do it, and Fuuka didn't do it, then who? Who stole Yukari's pudding?"

"It was Mitsuru-senpai."

* * *

…

"Say what?" Yukari said, looking up at Aigis. Tears had welled up in her eyes.

"A-Aigis…!" Mitsuru said, standing up. "I… I, er… I didn't do it!"

"I can confirm that Mitsuru-senpai is, in fact, the one who stole Yukari-san's pudding. I saw her." Aigis said, her face unmoving as ever.

"I… I explicitly told you not to tell that to anyone…!" Mitsuru stomped over to Aigis, her face growing ever sweatier.

"That is true. You did give me the order to keep your actions a secret from everyone here. However, I am programmed to override any and all orders with those of Minato-san's, should the situation call for it." Aigis nodded, looking over at Minato.

"But… agh…" Mitsuru sighed, looking very dejected.

Yukari bolted up from her seat, gaping in disbelief.

"It… it was Mitsuru-senpai? What… huh?" Too shocked to be seriously angry, all Yukari could do was make small, confused sounds.

At this point, Junpei was gathering up his clothes, now strewn all over the room. He put them into a pile on the small couch and sat back down.

Mitsuru sighed once more. "I suppose I owe everyone, especially Takeba, an explanation." She grabbed a nearby chair and sat herself down. Sad-sounding background music started playing as Aigis cast the spotlight on Mitsuru.

* * *

"I have always wanted to taste a pudding just like the one Takeba bought. However, my status as a lady and Kirijo's heiress has always kept me from engaging in such pleasantries. Therefore, I decided to do something unspeakable, and wrongly take someone else's pudding for myself."

Everyone gasped. Everyone but Minato. He was still chuckling.

Mitsuru's sad tale continued. "I had left at 11 that morning, but I returned about two hours later after seeing that pudding in the fridge. I… I just couldn't get the image of that pudding out of my head. So, I left my important business meeting and came back here. I ate Takeba's pudding. I ate her pudding with pleasure. It was… very delicious." Mitsuru wiped a tear from her eye.

"Of course, after I had done it, I was overcome with guilt. What had I done? What kind of monster had I become? I immediately retreated to my room and called some of Kirijo's agents. I instructed them to go to a dessert specialty store and purchase their most expensive pudding, and place it upon the plate I had left in the fridge. In order to cover my tracks, I sprayed it with two of my pretentiously French perfumes." Mitsuru held up the perfume bottles she conveniently had on her person.

Sure enough, the same two brands of perfume Aigis had mentioned.

"Unfortunately, my agents got stuck in a traffic jam. They didn't arrive until this morning, where they had provided me with a pudding of comparable brand with the one Takeba brought. However, I found that the plate had been shattered. I gave them instructions to replicate the plate exactly and bring it here. I had to keep Takeba from finding out, so—"

Mitsuru got interrupted by a car honking outside.

"…that must be the plate. Excuse me." Mitsuru stood up and walked up to Yukari. "I am truly sorry, Takeba. It was foolish and immature of me to do this to you. Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"…surewhatevercool." Yukari blurted out, still utterly confounded. She had heard maybe a quarter of Mitsuru's long-ass speech.

Mitsuru sighed in relief. "I'm glad. I will return with pudding. _Your_ pudding." Mitsuru smiled and walked off in her quest for pudding.

As she left, everyone stood up from their seats and stretched.

"Well, that takes care of that." Minato said, putting his hand on Yukari's shoulder. "Glad it's over, huh?"

"Yeah…" Yukari said, sighing once again. "Let's all just forget this happened, okay?"

No one opposed to the notion. This weekend hadn't been a pleasant one.

* * *

**End of Part III**

* * *

**Ace Defectives  
Case of the Pudding**

**Epilogue**

* * *

Minato had sat himself down in the lounge, currently reading a magazine. Junpei, now fully dressed, sat beside him and began a conversation.

"S'up, dude." He smiled at his evidently best friend.

"…not much." Minato replied, tossing the magazine aside.

"Listen, I'm really glad you were there earlier. The group going against one another is clearly nothing but trouble, and it's kind of my fault. You handled it really well, though. It's great to have you around as the rational one, if that makes sense." Junpei sighed.

"The rational one, huh? I can live with that."

"I don't know what we'd do without you. We'd prolly fall apart instantly, I'd guess." Junpei smiled weakly.

Minato put his hand on Junpei's shoulder. "That's not true. You'd do fine. At any rate…

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

**The End**


End file.
